It's About That Time (For An Update)

Leaving Florida, driving up to New Hampshire, a car accident, a third trip to Greece, and how this relates to fasting. Yes, 2024 has been a bit of a rollercoaster year for me, but I have continued to be open to the changes that come my way, no matter how challenging they may seem. I challenge you to think about how you can see life's hardships in a different light.

Generally, summer seems to be the time of the year when people take time off to go on holiday or trip somewhere, and that has also been the case for my little family for many years now since they were small.

Before Jim passed away in 2019, it was our regular summer tradition to make the long drive northward on i95 from Florida to New England. He grew up in western Massachusetts, and I grew up in southern New Hampshire, so we would always stop in Mass for a little bit before stopping in NH, and would usually circle back to Mass before we continued our drive back home to Florida. However, this summer was a little different, as I was the only driver, so we had to pace ourselves instead of driving straight through like we did many times before.

Leaving Florida this time was under a bit of a different circumstance.

Seacoast Science Center, NH.

At the end of March, we left the home we had been renting since March 2020.

We drove up to New Hampshire in 3 days. I was pretty proud of how well we did, and we made great time too.

About a week after we got here, I wanted to take my kids out to get ice cream and on the way there, I was in a seemingly minor accident that later resulted in learning that my car was totaled. We were all okay with no injuries, including the woman who hit me.

My emotions hit me the hardest when I went to the auto shop's parking lot to empty everything else that was left inside my car.

The feeling felt like "just another loss" for a few moments until I deliberately thought of how thankful I was to be able to say that we all made it out of that situation safely.

Like all the other sudden losses and changes I had experienced, the familiar hard feelings still exist, so for me to be able to "keep their volume low," I leaned into a fast.

I had no idea how long it would be. I didn't set any parameters, but I just held the intention that I needed to level out my current emotions and be present before I put any food in my body. I knew that if I did against what I felt was impulsively communicated within my body, there was potential for me to backslide in my health.

I already made the promise to Jim that I would never go backward, so I have continued to lean into the feeling of being mentally present while deliberately choosing to fast throughout the aftermath of my accident. Even typing this out to you is a little hard because revisiting those feelings makes me want to walk away from them. I naturally feel myself wanting to take action to avoid dwelling on them and potentially letting myself emotionally spin into a dark headspace.

This deliberate, yet instinctive act is something I am proud of. This is what I refer to as the inner boundaries I have established within myself. Psychologists call this locus of control.

According to Psychology Today,

Most people have either an internal or external locus of control. Those with an internal locus of control believe that their actions matter, and they are the authors of their own destiny. Those with an external locus of control attribute outcomes to circumstances or chance.

For my entire life until coming into this lifestyle of fasting, I have come to realize that I had a strong external and low internal locus of control.

Through my almost 6 year journey, I feel I have evolved. It was hard, but not impossible. I attest to how I consciously made the decision every single day to show up for myself. I knew the minor and temporary "discomfort" would eventually subside and I would be stronger as a result of it.

"Old Vicki" would have succumbed to hermit-like behavior and found comfort perpetuating in a victim mentality, self-soothing with overeating. But present me sees, acknowledges all the challenges that are (and will always be) there, takes small proactive action, and chooses gratitude for whatever manifests as a result.

One way I continue to strengthen my internal locus of control is to allow myself to feel gratitude and joy for all the positive things in my life that I work for, like my previous and upcoming travels to Greece.

Greece, AGAIN?!?!

Yes, except this time my children are coming with me, and we will be staying until October. This meant getting passports for my kids, which I thought was hard but wasn't. It also meant getting them set up with doing their schooling online, which was challenging to accept and execute, but I did it. Booking our tickets from the US to Ikaria was also a little bit difficult to plan and arrange, but I did it.

Significant experiences will happen on this trip that are a result of consistent patience, persistence, and a feeling of love that continues to grow. I am so excited to be able to share this experience with them and begin to establish a home on the island.

I never would have imagined this year to pan out the way it has for me and my children, but I am very proud of how I can continuously roll and evolve with the changes that have been manifesting in our lives. I am thankful, regardless of the outcome that resulted. I know that there are incredible things still to come this year, and I'll continue to be thankful and welcoming to all the experiences and lessons along the way.

My point is, don't stay stuck, you're better than that. You deserve to evolve into your best self. I have come to realize that I can do more than I give myself credit for, and I know you are just as capable, because I believe in you, even if you don't.

What was your biggest takeaway from this? I want to hear about it!

Email me: vicki@thefastingfocusedlifestyle.com

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References

1. https://psychologytoday.com/us/basics/locus-of-control
   

My Fasting Journey: Shedding Pounds, Gaining Strength, And How I Became A Fasting Coach

At the Virginia rest stop, finding my happy place in my recent travels

Some of you may have been following my journey since I started sharing it back in 2018, and many are brand new to my story, so I felt it was time for a helpful re-introduction.

So, hello, my name is Vicki, and I have now shed over 200 pounds. (I don’t say "lost" because I have no intention of finding them again!)

So much has happened since I embarked on my fasting journey at the beginning of August 2018. When I began, I was in a dark place emotionally, having recently lost two grandparents within a ten-month period. They were my only family members who lived close by, and their passing left a huge emotional burden on me.

Let’s face it: I ate my feelings, leading me to a very dark place.

But honestly, it wasn't only their deaths that brought me to the way I was.

For my entire life, until coming into fasting, I was "Vicki, the big girl." I'd often be called "weirdo" and often deliberately made to feel unwanted or welcome. Eating non-stop was soothing and satisfying when those emotions were high, but the more I ate, the worse things became. This went on for years and intensified when my mom died at the young age of 36 (I was 16). This also created an irrational fear that I, too, could die early like her. No matter the emotion, I coped with it by eating to excess, and every previous attempt at weight loss resulted in no permanence because of my inability to handle my "inner eating monster."

After my life-long pity party began to feel like an unwelcome guest, I started thinking about ways I knew to lose weight. Previously, I had followed a semi-keto-style program. I dove into YouTube and accidentally discovered a testimonial video about fasting. I was so intrigued that I watched many more videos by other credible sources, but I was still in disbelief that fasting could work for me. I was sure of it because nothing else I had tried was successful.

I started with a 16:8 fasting schedule for about two weeks and went down 21 pounds. Since that was successful, I then upped the ante to 20:4, then 23:1, progressing to One Meal A Day (OMAD), and eventually some extended fasting. Whenever I broke my fast, I was conscious of consuming minimally processed foods, minimal sugar and carbs, and maintaining a meat-free diet.

Only a few months later, I realized I had discovered the gold mine of health and weight loss.

Plant-based chili with air fryer potato wedges

I had a fire under me and never wanted to look back to how things were before. I conquered my emotional eating within a few months and had all the momentum I needed to continue with fierce determination!

Fast forward to the end of April 2019, when we found out that my husband was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (CHF) and was in dire need of a transplant. After seven months of going in and out of the hospital, fighting infections, and progressively getting weaker by the day, my husband lost his battle. He went into hospice on our wedding anniversary, and then two days later, on November 10, 2019, he passed.

During his last few days, I felt myself naturally regress into what I knew would keep me emotionally level and prevent me from slipping back into sabotaging habits.

I fasted.

I fasted my face off because I knew my late husband would be upset if I let myself go like a grieving widow could. Instead, I used my grief as a force to propel me forward—not just for myself but to keep my health as optimal as possible for our children, too. That’s how I honor my husband, his memory, and our future.

Feeding my emotional monster is not.

My kids and I, Hampton Beach, NH

Many have asked me about how I stay so focused, determined, or consistent in my daily efforts, and my answer is always the same.

This lifestyle is my ticket to a long life, period. My previous lifestyle habits were going to bring me an early death; I felt it, and I knew it. Fasting to balance my body and mind became an identity and personal mantra that I passionately advocate to others. It's become not just my personal way of life, but it's now my mission in my one-woman-owned small business, reaching clients worldwide.

I share my story to hopefully inspire you, dear reader, to show you that fasting as a lifestyle tool can help you achieve more than you realize. I have welcomed everything this journey brings: the good and not-so-great days, and you should, too.

Bad days will happen, y’all. The key is learning to love those bad days just as much as the good ones because this life journey is totally and completely yours, and you have to own your "ish," as my late husband would say.

I can do difficult things, and so can you!

Now let's go get your after!

💛 Vicki

#IBelieveInYouEvenIfYouDont 🙌❤️

Ready to get personalized fasting support with me?

>> Use code TY40OFF at checkout for 40 USD off your 6-month fasting support plan!

How Many More Birthdays Do You Want?

It's now May, but I am still thinking about how impactful my 40th birthday has been since March 1st.

In my life, as you may have already heard or read, there have been many deaths and losses that happened much sooner than they genuinely needed to, and maybe you have, too.

I have learned from these experiences that we must understand that our time here is finite.

Understanding the impermanence of our lives can be very scary and paralyzing for some, and believe me, I've been there.

Initially, I felt dread and lots of anxiety about this specific upcoming birthday because of the early age of my mother's passing at 36 years old, but I have been thinking and reflecting quite a bit recently.

I am very grateful for every aspect of my life, and you should be, too. My past influences every bit of who I am, including all the beauty and pain.

Your life is happening FOR you, not TO you! This is an important thing to remember without judgment or self-ridicule.

Do you find yourself pausing to take opportunities to show gratitude for everything in your life?

I understand it may be hard to practice initially, but it's not impossible.

Try this: The next time you're in the restroom or can see yourself in a mirror, take a moment (at least 1 minute), look yourself in the eyes, and think:

Thank you for this body.

Thank you for this breath.

I am so thankful for this beautiful life.

I love you.

It may feel weird and disingenuous at first, but I promise you that if you keep this practice up on your journey, it will get easier.

It can be a tremendously impactful practice as your mindset shifts towards self-compassion and empathy for who you are becoming.

Like I tell many of my fasting clients, your mindset is everything on this weight loss journey with fasting because your lifestyle tool allows you to realize that this process is so much deeper than just an attempt to lose weight. Practicing that awareness regularly can make a tremendous difference, not just on your journey, but has the potential to influence the rest of your life (and maybe many around you as well).

I have carefully crafted my mindset like my permanent and wearable trophy. It allows me to see through the hardships as opportunities for moments of gratitude and not take the blissful moments in life for granted.

My deepest passion is that you understand that you are also JUST AS CAPABLE of achieving the same unique level of loving gratitude for the body you own and the life you lead.

None of us are promised tomorrow; I am sure we all know and understand this. But with all the deaths and losses I’ve experienced, I now know the value of making the most of the time we have in this life. I find purpose in helping others like you uncover this meaningful component on their journeys.

I will passionately continue making a difference in this world, being the change I wish to see in others who need it.

You must know that you deserve to have as many birthdays as possible.

Many folks know they need to improve their health but don’t yet see the urgency that life can be mercilessly short.

If this is you, I want to tell you that time will pass whether we take action or not.

The time you have left in this life is completely in your control. But also remember that your weight loss journey shouldn't be something you rush through or wish to be "done with already."

Please trust me when I tell you your hardships, stressors, and subsequent stress-eating habits can be improved. You aren't stuck and do not need to keep the labels or judgments others have unwittingly placed on you.

I encourage you to trust your body's innate and instinctual ability to thrive on your fasting journey, but you don't have to travel this path alone.

If you haven't yet had a chance to meet with me for a virtual fasting consult but would like to, I have a treat for you.

My gift to you is a $40 discount on my 6-month subscription plan.

(Use code: VICKIIS40 at checkout)

Again, I wish to help YOU live your longest, healthiest life with fasting as your lifestyle tool, and I am confident with every cell in my (now 40-year-old) body that YOU CAN DO THIS because, as I always say, I believe in YOU, even if you don’t.

Let's get your after,

Vicki