Leaving Florida, driving up to New Hampshire, a car accident, a third trip to Greece, and how this relates to fasting. Yes, 2024 has been a bit of a rollercoaster year for me, but I have continued to be open to the changes that come my way, no matter how challenging they may seem. I challenge you to think about how you can see life's hardships in a different light.
Generally, summer seems to be the time of the year when people take time off to go on holiday or trip somewhere, and that has also been the case for my little family for many years now since they were small.
Before Jim passed away in 2019, it was our regular summer tradition to make the long drive northward on i95 from Florida to New England. He grew up in western Massachusetts, and I grew up in southern New Hampshire, so we would always stop in Mass for a little bit before stopping in NH, and would usually circle back to Mass before we continued our drive back home to Florida. However, this summer was a little different, as I was the only driver, so we had to pace ourselves instead of driving straight through like we did many times before.
Leaving Florida this time was under a bit of a different circumstance.
Seacoast Science Center, NH.
At the end of March, we left the home we had been renting since March 2020.
We drove up to New Hampshire in 3 days. I was pretty proud of how well we did, and we made great time too.
About a week after we got here, I wanted to take my kids out to get ice cream and on the way there, I was in a seemingly minor accident that later resulted in learning that my car was totaled. We were all okay with no injuries, including the woman who hit me.
My emotions hit me the hardest when I went to the auto shop's parking lot to empty everything else that was left inside my car.
The feeling felt like "just another loss" for a few moments until I deliberately thought of how thankful I was to be able to say that we all made it out of that situation safely.
Like all the other sudden losses and changes I had experienced, the familiar hard feelings still exist, so for me to be able to "keep their volume low," I leaned into a fast.
I had no idea how long it would be. I didn't set any parameters, but I just held the intention that I needed to level out my current emotions and be present before I put any food in my body. I knew that if I did against what I felt was impulsively communicated within my body, there was potential for me to backslide in my health.
I already made the promise to Jim that I would never go backward, so I have continued to lean into the feeling of being mentally present while deliberately choosing to fast throughout the aftermath of my accident. Even typing this out to you is a little hard because revisiting those feelings makes me want to walk away from them. I naturally feel myself wanting to take action to avoid dwelling on them and potentially letting myself emotionally spin into a dark headspace.
This deliberate, yet instinctive act is something I am proud of. This is what I refer to as the inner boundaries I have established within myself. Psychologists call this locus of control.
According to Psychology Today,
Most people have either an internal or external locus of control. Those with an internal locus of control believe that their actions matter, and they are the authors of their own destiny. Those with an external locus of control attribute outcomes to circumstances or chance.
For my entire life until coming into this lifestyle of fasting, I have come to realize that I had a strong external and low internal locus of control.
Through my almost 6 year journey, I feel I have evolved. It was hard, but not impossible. I attest to how I consciously made the decision every single day to show up for myself. I knew the minor and temporary "discomfort" would eventually subside and I would be stronger as a result of it.
"Old Vicki" would have succumbed to hermit-like behavior and found comfort perpetuating in a victim mentality, self-soothing with overeating. But present me sees, acknowledges all the challenges that are (and will always be) there, takes small proactive action, and chooses gratitude for whatever manifests as a result.
One way I continue to strengthen my internal locus of control is to allow myself to feel gratitude and joy for all the positive things in my life that I work for, like my previous and upcoming travels to Greece.
Greece, AGAIN?!?!
Yes, except this time my children are coming with me, and we will be staying until October. This meant getting passports for my kids, which I thought was hard but wasn't. It also meant getting them set up with doing their schooling online, which was challenging to accept and execute, but I did it. Booking our tickets from the US to Ikaria was also a little bit difficult to plan and arrange, but I did it.
Significant experiences will happen on this trip that are a result of consistent patience, persistence, and a feeling of love that continues to grow. I am so excited to be able to share this experience with them and begin to establish a home on the island.
I never would have imagined this year to pan out the way it has for me and my children, but I am very proud of how I can continuously roll and evolve with the changes that have been manifesting in our lives. I am thankful, regardless of the outcome that resulted. I know that there are incredible things still to come this year, and I'll continue to be thankful and welcoming to all the experiences and lessons along the way.
My point is, don't stay stuck, you're better than that. You deserve to evolve into your best self. I have come to realize that I can do more than I give myself credit for, and I know you are just as capable, because I believe in you, even if you don't.
What was your biggest takeaway from this? I want to hear about it!
Email me: vicki@thefastingfocusedlifestyle.com
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